Miles From Fenway

White Welsh Rappers
March 15, 2005, 2:54 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

So I went to see a show last night at the Mercury Lounge. The British crew once again dragged me along and I am SO glad they did because damn was it funny. The group is called Goldie Lookin’ Chain and they’re a group of white rappers from Newport, South Wales. And let me tell you there is nothing more amusing than 8 white guys, with thick accents rapping WEird Al style while jumping around in track suits and big ass gold jewelry.

Just for your amusement, the lyrics to their most popular song:

“Guns Don’t Kill People, Rappers Do”


Guns dont kill people rappers do,
Ask any politican and they’ll tell you its true,
Its a fact music makes you violent,
Like Michael Jackson telling little Timmy to be silent,
You don’t believe me? Heres my hype,
Offer me the record and i’ll show you the type,
Of criminal this rap shit is breedin,
Its a fact that MC Hammer left me bleedin,
Vanilla Ice made my mother say ‘Fuck’,
If I stuck with UB40 then I woulda been in luck,
But I didn’t I got it wrong,
Cypress fucking hill to me to make a fucking bong,
So I started, I bought another tape,
That bad boy vibe made my cock and balls ache,
So remember kids from the head double tap,
Guns don’t kill people its just rap!


Guns don’t kill people rappers do
So do the police
Woo Woo Woo
Guns don’t kill people rappers do,
I seen it in a documentary on BBC2,
Shot to death outside Hyper Value,
Guns blazin like Michael Cain in Zulu,
Guns with sadistic are sometimes misleading,
The type of criminal that rap is breedin,
Shot in the chest? No wonder you stopped breathin,
2 for the base over, are you receivin?
Remember rap tracks in ’87
Scott the Rock’s up ni Hip-Hop heaven,
Biggie and Tupac R.I.P,
Even Jam Master Jays in the cemetary.


Guns don’t kill people rappers do,
I’m a fucking rapper and I might kill you,
As a rapper I’m teachin you a lesson,
AK47 to Smith-and-Weston
Just say no, just like Zappo
Bullet proof vest, to guns and ammo,
Hip-hop gangster trippin,
Even Eminems into pistol whippin,
Its like cluedo murder one,
P-Diddy, J’lo in a nightclub with a gun,
Heard snoop dog now wants to bust a cap,
Guns dont kill people its just rap

One, Two yo face my shoe,
My name is Mike Balls and I’m comin through,
Gun crimes, stabbin, and burglarisation,
Its on a rise all across the nation,
The safety’s off and the pistol is aimed,
Yardies and the Mafia always get blamed,
Politicians are shamed, and they haven’t got a clue,
Rap is more deadly than fucking Kung-Fu


Guns dont kill people rappers do,
From Bristol Zoo to B&Q,
I wanna rap, I wanna rhyme
Heard it in a song now im into gun crime,
Its a sign of the times like Prince changin his name,
Gotta have a shooter to be in the rap game,
Like Michael Ryan about to snap,
Guns dont kill people its just rap!




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