Miles From Fenway

Boston, The Sox, a Thong, and the fear of Looking Like a CFB
June 7, 2005, 3:46 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Casual Fan Bitch: (N) A description coined by to describe sports fans of the female persuasion who don’t actually know much about the team except for which players are cute. Most CFBs could not name the starting nine for the team they are supposedly fans of. You can typically pick them out by their pink team attire.

It is every die-hard female fan’s worst fear to be thought of as a CFB. Or at least, it is mine. The problem with being a woman who is obsessed with a team (and I mean any team, not just the Sox) is that many men assume you don’t really know you’re team. I can’t begin to tell you the number of people I’ve met who, after getting into a long discussion with me about, say, why Mark Bellhorn is better than people think he is, turn to me and say “Wow, you really know your stuff, don’t you?”

Um, yeah. But why are you so surprised?! You wouldn’t have made a comment like that if I had been a male. Asshat.

This past weekend I made my way up to Boston to catch up with some fellow Royal Rooters from and see the Anaheim game on Sunday. A few of us had met up the night before and perhaps partied a bit too hard. So when I started drinking at Boston Billiards less than 12 hours later, it hit me a bit harder than it normally would have.

What this led to was me playing pool, in low rise jeans, with a thong on. Not the best idea ever as it was immediately evident that there would be no way to hide said thong while playing pool. Now, had I not been wasted, I probably just wouldn’t have played, but damn those inhibitions melting away!

So instead of not playing pool, and instead of slowing down on the drinking, I did neither. Not only did I do neither, but quite a few of my RR friends, decided that snapping my thong might be fun (though I did destroy BlackJack’s beer for doing so).

So now here’s my fear, did I come off as a CFB this weekend? I wore no pink (I had a Bill Meuller T-shirt on – red and blue the ONLY acceptable colors for Red Sox apparel), I could still name everyone on the damn team, but I said some seriously stupid non-baseball-related stuff, and flashed my thong around like it was my job. Perhaps I shouldn’t be judging those pink-shirt-wearing, Johnny-Damon-loving, short-skirt-sporting girls at baseball games as quickly anymore. Perhaps they’re just having an off day.

Yeah, we’ll see how long that outlook lasts.

11 Comments so far
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I can not imagine that anyone could ever accuse you of being a CFB. Having fun and being drunk has nothing to do with knowing your baseball.

As for the thong snapping… what can I say? It was there, I was drunk, it got snapped. These things happen. 🙂

Comment by BlackJack

I LOVE this post. That is exactly how I feel. Of COURSE I go on and on about Jason’s thighs…so I am guilty of that…but my love of my game far surpasses (well, kinda surpasses) my need to want to sleep with Jason Varitek. I’m also one of those girls who gets the “woah, you know your shit”. I found myself talking with a Seattle fan at the Boston/Seattle game a month or so ago. I know a lot about them because of my best friend D and so him and i talked comparisons almost the whole game. His friends were like, “damn dude…that girl knows her SHIT” Of course I beamed. Bastards…girls know stuff too!! AND for the record…i HATE pink red sox stuff…HATE IT. It killed me to put a pink jersey on my daughter but as soon as she hits two…no more pink stuff..just red and blue thank you very much!

Comment by Amy

AND…you should check out my newest rant on the boys…

Comment by Amy

LMAO… “Asshat”

Comment by Macca

The pink stuff literally fills me with rage. It’s probably misguided, but I don’t care. If you like the team enough to buy their hat/jersey/etc, then you should like them enough to wear their freaking team colors!!!!! Though, Amy, pink stuff on little kids is different. That’s acceptable, and no I am not sure why 🙂

And Macca, glad you enjoyed my word choice. I love the word asshat 🙂

Comment by FINY

i’ll admit that i get surprised when i meet a woman sports fan, but… it’s too bad that you feel like you have to “prove” your fandom, just because you’re a woman.

really, if anything, i would think that all the hardcore Sox fans would be complaining about all the bandwagon fans… but i guess there aren’t any bandwagon fans there. here in SD, there’s a ton. everybody loves a winner, i guess. ‘cept for Cubs fans.

if anyone doubts your fandom, just mention Something About Mary, and remind them that total babes can be sports fans, too.

Comment by mikey

Ahh … mikey appealing to my Rhode Island roots and probably not even realizing it! Love that movie!

Comment by FINY

Wasn’t the discussion at the outing the fact you couldn’t find anything other than Pink stuff at the Bob’s stores?

Comment by Edmund Dantes

Yeah but that doesn’t make it ok. I mean look, all I had to do to find a sox colored shirt that fit was to head into the boys section. There are ways to get around pandering to what shop owners think is appropriate for female fans to wear.

Comment by FINY

Yo ufag. Keep up with the CFB talk and you will loose and loose badly.

Comment by CFB

Kim, I’ve only known you these past couple of months & your baseball knowlege, is incredible. What I’ve seen of certain CFBs’, is that they have no clue(“Jeter is so cute”{Yuck!} Or “I Love Mikey”{Though He’s Married}).
You’re Great & Literate Company.
Most CFBs aren’t there to watch the game.
One such “Fan”, in YS, used to go up for a suntan & used to tell people to keep quiet, while she was on her cell phone.
I, btw, was an “Embedded Red Sox/Mets Fan.”
That Section 2, in Tier Reserved, had no clue about me.

Comment by Michael Leggett

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