Miles From Fenway

June 28, 2005, 3:11 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

It is 11:13pm. I jus returned from a frantic trip to the Pacific Street subway station just a few blocks from my apartment. Why? Because half an hour ago I got this call from MM:

MM: Hi are you home?
ME: Yeah, why?
MM: Because I just got ejaculated on on the train.

That’s right. Now, this is a sad fact that many women who live in the city are not unused to seeing penis on the subway. It happens at least once to most women I know. But this time the guy took it further.

It’s hard to know in that situation what to do. You don’t want to look at the guy because it might encourage him. You don’t want to get up and walk away because you don’t know what he’ll do.

The one thing the cops told MM as we were talking to them was to NEVER sit in the last car. You’re as far away from the conductor as you could possibly get, and it is almost always where things will happen. and always sit near other people. Never sit on your own.

So just a note, a reminder to all you ladies living in the city. Watch out for yourself. Be smart and be safe. We take it for granted sometimes. We go for years without anything happening. I know I’ve done it. We’ve all done it. Wandered home on our own at hours we shouldn’t. Stood on empty platforms on our own.

My mom is going to flip when she reads this.

18 Comments so far
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dude. that’s just wrong.

but then again, you could take it as a compliment…? one look at you, and he couldn’t help himself!

well, at least that asian dude doesn’t seem so bad now…

ok, seriously? yeah, that’s really fucked up.

Comment by mikey

note to mikey – lern too reed. sorry, MM.

Comment by mikey

There are some really sick people out there. That sicko, would’ve ejaculated on some teenaged girl, or even another guy.

Take the Conductor or Motorman’s car, but, preferably the conductor’s car.

Comment by Michael Leggett

that is just SO wrong. I hear about things like this all the time but I’ve never heard it go this far? No doubt a Yankee fan!!

Comment by Darren

Ew! I hope I never get one of those calls. And my friends all make fun of me for riding in the first car with the driver…

Comment by Esther

Darren – actually he WAS wearing what MM thinks could have been a Yankee hat (though she was trying not to look at him)

So things to learn: do NOT sit in the back car, on every platform there are black and white stripes where one of the conductors is sitting, if you can’t get into the first car get into one of those cars, and if at all possible sit with other people on the train.

Comment by FINY

Wow. This makes me really glad that we don’t have a train in Vegas. I feel creeped out enough when I pass out on the bus and that’s just one car.

Comment by aurora

That may be the nastiest thing I have ever read. Very very scary as I have ridden the subways.

Comment by Ari

Au contraire—in such a situation, you do want to look at him. Then to laugh and ask “is that all you got?”

Comment by Jack Roy

thanks for the support, kids 😉

Comment by meghann

This kinda puts a dent in your “NYC isn’t that bad!” chat argument, FINY. Yeesh.

Comment by JMD

Gross. Meghann, I recommend burning the clothes you were wearing.

Comment by BlackJack

This is why I am sticking to my opinion that NYC sucks and Boston is better

Comment by Anonymous

Who let MALC on the train again?

Comment by RSN Diaspora

Carry a scissors with you. If the guy whips it out, whip them out… he’ll think twice.. ;O)

Comment by Chief Slacker

I’ve been thinking about this all day. This is truly the most disgusting thing I can imagine.

Comment by Meegan

That is truly disgusting. Where is a nice pair of shears or a machete when you need it?

Comment by Johnny

Unbelievable, horrendous…

How is someone new to the city supposed to know all this(meaning which place to choose, etc).

I hope someone posts these safety tips, please for goodness sake. And hopefully the police or security cams notice this and bring it to an end somehow.

You write really well, and always appear in high spirits. All the best and good luck!

Comment by Anonymous

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